I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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