Non-Jews are for practice
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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