i don't like sucking hair
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
