What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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