it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
