I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
