Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
