And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
