i think i have herpe
just one?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
