Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
