apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
