stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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