you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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