a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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