tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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