i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
