y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
