R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
did i walk over a car last night?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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