He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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