Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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