I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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