And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
