Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Say something about gay babies.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
