If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
