so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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