I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
