Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
