In the future we'll all be gay
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize