i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
