Fine. I'll sleep in my office
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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