He asked to "fluff my boner.."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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