Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
