Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
