An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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