Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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