i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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