They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
time to smoke my breakfast
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Someone came in the potted fern
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
