Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
