the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize