How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
