Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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