she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
