shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
