if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
