Redeem this text for a blowjob
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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