I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize