i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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