i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
