Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
