friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
