Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
