my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
